Robbie Williams - Naked at an awards ceremony

I`m naked at an

award ceremony

I`m hiding behind Jarvis Cocker and he´s eating canapés

I`ve got a laser pen

and I`m shining it on Salman Rushdie´s forehead like that

Missing Brian May´s hair by a fraction

Yeah, I`m naked, but nobody seems to mind

Record company execs tuck into their meat and two veg

I wince but carry on with a tall story about tapestry

The theme tune to "Howard´s Way"

Plays gleefully in the backround

And everybody taps their feet

Meat Loaf wets himself he´s gotta leave

So I`m asked to fill this place in the show

I duet with a chauffeur

Who´s driving Whitney Houston or somebody like that

We sing "Abide With Me" at the top of our voices

To my surprise i get an erection

Not a full-one erection like Jeff Stryker

but a timid Aled Jones sort of affair

Anyway, my singing partner is appalled and leaves the stage

Through the medium of dance

I explain what Shirley Bassey`s back garden looks like

Brings the house down

Everyone gets cold and leaves

I`m naked at an

award ceremony

I`m hiding behind Jarvis Cocker and he´s eating canapés

I`ve got a laser pen

and I`m shining it on Salman Rushdie´s forehead like that

Missing Brian May´s hair by a fraction

Yeah, I`m naked, but nobody seems to mind

Record company execs tuck into their meat and two veg

I wince but carry on with a tall story about tapestry

The theme tune to "Howard´s Way"

Plays gleefully in the backround

And everybody taps their feet

Meat Loaf wets himself he´s gotta leave

So I`m asked to fill this place in the show

I duet with a chauffeur

Who´s driving Whitney Houston or somebody like that

We sing "Abide With Me" at the top of our voices

To my surprise i get an erection

Not a full-one erection like Jeff Stryker

but a timid Aled Jones sort of affair

Anyway, my singing partner is appalled and leaves the stage

Through the medium of dance

I explain what Shirley Bassey`s back garden looks like

Brings the house down

Everyone gets cold and leaves